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RiverBender Blog: How to Ask for What You Want (No, Seriously, How Do You Ask for What You Want?)

A candid look at finding direction in your 20s.

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Four years ago, I was graduating college. Now I am onto the next big step.

Isn’t it strange how you’ll be trucking along, living your life, everything normal, and then all of a sudden you’re reminded that time is actually flying?

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I was reminded of that this week.

I’m making some Big Decisions right now. I won’t go into detail yet — don’t want to jinx it — but there are some exciting things happening on a personal level that I don’t quite know how to balance.

Throw in the fact that I celebrated a birthday last month (26) (ancient) and I’m starting to think about what the next several years of my life will look like, and I am just a little bit overwhelmed. Excited, for sure. But definitely overwhelmed.

It’s strange, as humans, how even positive changes leave us wound up. I’m making decisions that will have a positive impact on my life and bring me closer to my goals, but I was still tossin’ and turnin’ all night long.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always had a vague idea of what I wanted my life to be. I had plans, some of which fell through, some of which I followed to the letter. I had goals that I was so committed to until I researched more or something else shifted, and these goals adjusted accordingly. I had priorities that I was certain I’d always prioritize, until something or someone came along and changed up the game.

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Now, as I reflect on some of these bigger plans and start to plot out the next several years of my life, I’m floundering just a little bit. Not in a bad way! But in a way that has me questioning what I really want. What do I actually need to prioritize? What goals am I living for, and which can I live without?

These are tough questions! And it seems like, no matter how much living you’ve got under your belt, these questions still stump people. At least, they’ve certainly stumped me before.

But I’m happy to report that, this time around, I have a much better feel for my answers.

It’s liberating to know exactly what I want. I’m not saying that’s how it’ll work out, but I do have a pretty good understanding of what I need to do and what decisions I need to make so I feel fulfilled. As someone who has never had that certainty before, what a cool thing!

I’ve always been a very go-with-the-flow person. That works out sometimes and leaves me wanting other times. This time around, I’m not leaving anything on the table. I’m pushing for exactly what I want.

The universe is getting all my good vibes right now, and I’m hoping it will answer with some positive energy of its own.

Sorry to be cryptic…Hopefully, in time, I can link back to this blog post and say, “Wow, look, it all worked out!” In the meantime, I’ll keep sharing the love and hoping for the best. After all, that’s all we can really do.

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