RiverBender Blog: I'm Planning a Wedding

Not just any wedding, Riverbend. MINE.

And not in the way I’ve always planned my wedding, by watching “Say Yes to the Dress” and making aspirational Pinterest boards and thinking far into the future with a mysterious figure at the altar. Nope. Someone asked me to get married, and I said yes, and now it’s time to plan for real.

Not to generalize, but I think a lot of young girls are socialized to think about their weddings. Growing up, I loved watching those TLC wedding shows and daydreaming about the day it would be my turn.

Some of that is gendered bullcrap, where young girls are encouraged to think about marriage and motherhood rather than careers and education. I’ve spent my fair share of time thinking about all of the above. I’m lucky; I was always encouraged to be independent, to prioritize my goals, from a master’s degree to motherhood. All of that sounds amazing.

But, one step at a time. Right now, I’m focused on this wedding.

I do want that magical wedding day, and so after the shock of the proposal wore off a bit, I pulled up my Pinterest board and got to thinking. We’re in no big rush, but one of my friends told me that if I want to get married before 2029, I had better start doing a little bit of planning. 2029 doesn’t even sound like a real year — it’s so far in the future! So, okay, I started searching for a venue.

Have you planned a wedding recently? I have never done this before. I was completely unprepared for the price quotes I saw online. $10,000 for venues! Not including catering, photography, anything else!

That’s insane; you know that, right? We’ve all been brainwashed into thinking that’s normal, when, in fact, it is insane.

So, back to the drawing board. How much are we actually willing to spend? What are the must-dos versus the would-be-nice-to-haves? My fiancé (still wild to say) and I spent the weekend debating.

Or maybe, we argued, we could just elope. Save some money. Save some stress. Or just a backyard wedding with the very most important people present. Do a big party some other day, much less intense.

We’re still deciding. It might be a moderately-sized affair complete with a venue and a photographer. It might be a trip to the courthouse and a little party afterward. It might be a true elopement, off to Vegas or Hawaii or somewhere we’ve never been before, just the two of us. We shall see.

But either way, it has been amazing to witness the outpouring of support we’ve received since we announced our engagement. Our friends and families have been so excited for us and eager to know more about our plans, our hopes, our story. I am so grateful for the community of people we’ve built and the love they’ve shown us.

And, of course, my fiancé. I can’t wait to spend forever together.

So, while there are no wedding bells quite yet, I’ll still be Pinterest-ing and watching reels of wedding dress options and also trying my best to save my iced coffee fund for wedding planning instead. I am so excited, mostly because of this person I love. I can’t wait to celebrate that love and start the next chapter of our lives together.

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